I saw the gay movie Superman Returns at the Freemasons Cinema

So I went to the Paramount today to watch Superman Returns.

I saw that fucking movie in the 3D Imax because I needed to see what kind of technology the Freemasons were using to brainwash people with.

I usually go to a movie theatre expecting to have the whole place to myself; unfortunately, it was not the case; I had to share with a million other people today.

I have a big problem with people who eat in movie theatres; I find it most unatural, it bothers me. I'm not talking about popcorn, but people who eat take-out meals during the film. Actually, I have a problem with people who eat potentially messy foods in the dark. How the hell, do you see what you're sticking in your mouth, and when it's not going into your mouth it's ending up on the person who's sitting infront of you.

So anyway, I had a couple sitting to the left of me, who were enjoying a three course meal: the whole works. Crispy appetizers to begin with, then a soup, an entree and dessert. I think most of it ended up on their laps, but I was ready to make a big song and dance musical out of it should any food have dropped on me.

I had an empty seat to my right, up until about 10 minutes into the movie! I cannot stand it when people block my view at the start of a movie; I have to watch every single frame, if I miss a frame, then the film is basically... ruined. This guy sat down next to me, he was eating an icecream cone, with two more cones at the ready. He ate like a pig. Yom yomsch yomsch yomsch (that's a pretty cool onomatopeia I invented, eh?). Well, I couldn't concentrate on the movie, I've already missed vital frames and I was too busy avoiding flying food. I removed my drink from the holder and he thrust his cones in there; the bastard stole my drink holder.

The couple eventually finished their five course dinner, and the guy finishes off his third icecream. I relaxed, and began to settle into the film. Next minute, the pig is rubbing his temples and shifting left and right in his chair; fucking idiot has given himself brain freeze. He is just staring at the icecream stain on his black shirt during the movie, looking very unhappy, only taking brief breaks to watch the action scenes.

The movie is not entirely 3D, now and then we were ordered to put on the provided protective goggles during the 3D scenes. It got tiresome putting them on and then taking them off for brief scenes of flying and ... stuff moving quickly. I was glad when the icecream monster decided to take a permanent hiatus halfway through the movie. I could relax again.

Superman looked kinda gay. I noticed that all the way through the movie. Only a gay man would wear a multi-coloured rompa suit with pride and have impeccably well styled hair . He's a good looking guy with big dreamy arms and everything... Wow, you can become gay just by watching this movie.

The acting was bad. Every character in the movie only existed to support the lead guy. These (sub) characters contributed no emotional value to the plot, they were just there for the amusement of Superman; toys for him to play with: like dildos but not as intelligent.

Lois Lane is particularly stupid, she cannot make the connection that Clark Kent and Superman are indeed the same person. Clark Kent has disappeared for five years, so has Superman, they both make their reappearance at the same time; they also look like each other. How dumb can you get? She doesn't even care about Clark Kent; or her husband, when she decided to kiss Superman. She came across as a bitch, and I wouldn't have had any sympathy for her if she died.

So I will not review this film anymore; it hurts me to do so. I happened to discover a whole load of Freemason references in the movie; Superman himself is a Freemason. There's just too much crap. Gimme Spiderman anyday, he is a normal guy just like me. Hoorah.