A Beautiful Mind

I've had this comment a lot lately, but I've been too happy-happy-joy-joy to rant about it... until NOW, it's "you have a beautiful mind."

"You have a beautiful mind...", they told me as they stared into my eyes and smiled. What the hell? I'm not sure what to make of that. When I hear the words, 'a beautiful mind', I think of that movie of the same name with Russell 'check out my pot belly, ladies' Crowe. A great movie about a great schizophrenic. The tagline of the movie is, 'He saw the world in a way no one could have imagined.'

So I think to myself... Hmmmm, maybe I'm schizophrenic but I don't know it? But, if I am schizophrenic, someone would have called the men in white by now. No wait, maybe... maybe I'm actually in a mental asylum, the people telling me that I'm schizophrenic are nurses leaking TRUTH from the real world outside my mind. Then, why would they want to tell me I have a beautiful mind? would it not make more sense to tell me that I have a 'fucked up mind'?
No that can't be it. I think they're telling me that I have a beautiful mind, to fuck with me, that's right, the fuckers are fucking with my mind. Jesus H. Christ!! What kind of hospital in the higher Alien Overlords name is this!!! Who put me in here? Am I paying for this??? Let me out! I want a refund... I don't think I'm getting any better.

So doctor, if you are listening, please tell me, send me a message, anything! Please in all your mercy, if you are not the Alien Master himself, why o' bloody why, do I have a beautiful mind, don't fuck with me. Hey I know, 'beautiful mind' is code for, 'your brain is not functionally correctly, infact you have lost your grip on reality and hence falling down a bottomless ravine. We're telling you this, yes there is more than one of us, we're shining a light in your eye right now to check if you're listening -there might have been a slight response there. Ummm where was I, oh yeah, we're telling you that you're fucked. Actually we don't know why, maybe we're just lonely and want someone to talk to, but I'm staring at you and you are a complete vegetable. Thanks for listening. This ones a lost case.'

So the moral of the story is, when next time someone tells you that you have a 'Beautiful mind', just nod and smile and say something like "why thank you, kind sir/lady" while fluttering your eyelids and pouting your lips, politely leave, go home and cry for you are falling down a bottomless mental pit!!!