Prostitution in the Name of Comedy

I have just had sex with a prostitute.

I had been drinking all day at the Fiddler's Green pub, and on the journey home I realized that I needed tissue paper and shower gel, so I ventured into the nearby Rabba's and bought some chips and toilet paper.

A young prostitute was standing on the street corner, she asked me for a cigarette, 'Sorry babe I got none, I don't smoke!' I said.

'Awww, that's a shame, you wanna good time?'

I pulled out my wallet to find I had forty bucks in it, 'I've only got forty bucks...'

'Okay, that's cool, where do you live?'

I looked at my toilet paper; it was a choice between jerking off or having sex. She looked kinda sexy, high heels, black stockings and a nice arse. 'Uh, I dunno, I don't really do prostitutes, but I haven't had sex in months...'

'That's cool, you want me to come home with you?'

'Uh... Okay.' I said, drunkenly, while staring at her legs.

We got back and started kissing. 'Wow, your room is really small, but you have a big penis for a Chinese guy...'

We did the dirty for about half an hour, all I could afford, and I almost passed out half way.

'I need to sleep now, here's the forty bucks.' I said as I handed the cash over for the evil deed. 'If I wasn't using a condom, I'd probably have to charge you because I'm putting out grade A comedy genes, most women will kill for that.' She took the money and left without a word.