A Strange Dream about Pee

I had the strangest dream last night...

Me and a group of friends met up at a girl's place to have a few drinks before we would head to a nightclub. I was formally attired in a three piece suit, everyone else was dressed as a gangster or moll; I suppose the theme of that night was 'gangsters and molls'...

The host's appartment had a small living room and a huge bathroom which probably took up about two thirds of the total space. After having had a few drinks, I caught myself in the mirror, and decided that I needed to shave, luckily I had a disposable razor blade in my pocket, thus, I made my way to the bathroom.

The enormous washroom was uncluttered and extremely well lit. The sky blue tiles were sparkling clean and gleaming in the light through the large window. I felt the urge to pee, so I decided to walk over to the toilet.

Unusually, the toilet was on a small raised platform, with barely enough room to stand. Suddenly, I felt extremely drunk. It was the alcohol that I had been drinking earlier; it finally caught up with me. I staggered back and forth, trying hard not to step of the edge. I struggled to undo my zipper, and when it was undone, a large part of my trousers flapped annoyingly in the path of where I wanted to pee.

It was gradually getting harder to focus as my vision began to bounce randomly. I felt myself half kneeling on the rim of the toilet as I tried to stabilize myself to no avail. I kept slipping. I decided that it would be easier to try to sit down on the seat, but the seat had an uneven area, so I began to rotate it until it would fit my arse. All this time, the incredibly long flap of my trousers was dangling in the pee that somebody had left previously in the bowl.

At one point, I felt my hands getting sticky from the dried urine on the rim, as I raised my hands to look at them, I fell onto the floor which was covered in shit. I gripped the porcelain and raised myself once again. I managed to stand up successfully, and just when I was about to finally relieve my bladder, I noticed a figure sitting in the corner of the room. It was a guy reading a book on a wooden chair.

'How long have you been there?' I asked.
'Long enough to see you make a fool of yourself!' he replied.
'I didn't see you when I came in, I think I'm going blind.' I slurred.