Computer Nerds are the New Jocks

I'm quite lucky that I didn't turn into a computer nerd. At the age of ten, my uncle (who is no longer my uncle), gave me his old Apple II computer. The bloody thing didn't work, the graphics card was fried, but I had a tonne of books and read every single one, teaching myself Apple Basic and Database before I got a new card. Fortunately, an interest in art prevented me from pursuing the path of technology and becoming a computer whizz.

The nerds who made big bucks in the early nineties as teenage software geniuses have all grown up to be the new jocks of this decade. Their spines twisted and bent from years in front of a computer, scrawny and short, Lasik eye surgery replacing thick rimmed spectacles, they're still the same guys but with money. I see these grown boys driving around in their expensive toys with hot young and stupid blondes, reliving the teenage years that they missed out on.

I'm telling you, these new jocks are more dangerous than the sporting types. They're bitter about how the world bullied them when they were younger, they have no concept of how to treat women but as sex objects as they had no girlfriends in their youth. If you upset these guys or you don't want to sleep with them, they'll hack and destroy your computer and post your private photos on the internet.

The original jocks will have grown up to be hard working family types, many will have learnt from experience to be nicer people. The new jocks have no social experience, having spent most of their life acquiring computer skills and exchanging Playboy images on the internet bulletin boards. They'll have the spending power to be complete arseholes, viewing it as a form of justice on how badly mistreated they were on the school playground.

How to recognize these new jocks? Late 20s to early 30s, socially immature, undeveloped personality, usually of stunted growth and rather plain looking. They get irritated easily by better looking people, and their own insecurities makes them all too ready to exact bitter revenge on whoever they believe deserves their comeuppance.