Indecision: it's a waste of life...

My life is trickling away; day by day, hour by hour. Therefore, it is with utmost urgency that I tell you this story:

A friend of mine told me about a fantastically posh restaurant called KFC. It stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken. What is a chicken? Well, allow me to explain...

There are these creatures with beaks and wings who once ran around a field all day pecking at the ground while making peculiar 'bok bok bok' noises. They chose to live the life of riley, courtesy of the Alien Overlords; preferring to chill out and eat healthily. So who cares that they're not being stressed out in an unatural office environment and working overtime? -Initially, a few did.

So a bunch of humans decided to round up the strange creatures and put them in cages so they could eat their eggs and devour their flesh. 'This will teach them to be lazy,' said the very first farmer, 'I slave away in the office all day and get so stressed out that my outlet will be to stuff them into small cages and allow them to experience the very thing that has made me the bitter monster that I am.'

The arms, legs and head of the creatures are sliced off. The arms, breast and thighs are shipped off to supermarkets and fast food outlets. This is where the story begins:

So I was waiting in line for some pieces of deep fried chicken creature. It was Toonie Tuesday; a special offer for two pieces and fries. I could smell the deep fried lumps of flesh and my mouth was watering spasmodically. I had the hunger and, 'I must, I must the flesh of a creature for the insatiable lust of my belly; Mistress Hunger drags her long sharp nails along the inside walls of my innards.'

The woman before me was in the process of ordering. She could/would not decide. She was treating the exchange as though it were the purchase of a brand new car from a dealership showroom. Stupid, stinky bitch, it's called fast food for a reason: you get your fried creature flesh, give your money, and eat it like a savage. I clenched my teeth tighter, my knuckles were white with rage; I needed MEAT.

I looked at my watch... 5 seconds... 15 seconds... 5 minutes... My fucking life is ticking away! I am dying for God's sake! I hoped that I did not shout that out loud by accident. I cannot waste my precious life time waiting for some idiot to make up their mind whether to buy ten or fifteen pieces of chicken!!! I wanted my extra greasy, swimming in extra greasy, greasy, greasy, fatty chicken oils, please give me a heart attack, oily, oily, dripping in grease, clog up your heart, cholestral, oily grease but very delicious fried chicken limbs, NOW!!!