The Miracle Po Chai Pills

If you've ever had the good fortune of experiencing abdominal pain, bloating or diarrhea, then you may have heard of the traditional Chinese herbal remedy, Po Chai Pills. The medicine is packed in conveniently small vials which contain forty to fifty pinhead sized balls that are swallowed with lukewarm water. Not unlike magic tablets, these tiny brown pills will instantaneously alleviate any uncomfortable symptoms associated with the body's digestive system.

Scientists have recently discovered that Po Chai Pills not only cures digestion related illnesses, but if taken in large enough doses can bring a dead person back to life. They found that the 'deader' the body was, the more Po Chai pills that were required. Only a month ago, doctors brought Li Shiu Kei, the inventor of the pills, back to join the living. We asked Li Shiu Kei what he thought of the breakthrough, he modestly replied, "In fact, when I made them I never expected the pills to work, they were supposed to be like placebo tablets that gave the user a psychological sense of well-being." He also suggested that, "the pills can also be used as a substitute for food." The idea could almost have been lifted straight out of the pages of a 1930's science fiction comic, we finally have the food pill! Except this food pill is not a new invention but has been in usage for well over a century in China!

We asked Li Shiu Kei whether he would develop his product for further medical applications, he answered, "Right now, I'm investigating if the pills can cure diseases - I mean, if they can cure death, then there is a remote likelihood that they might be able to cure cancer!" I then asked if he was likely to consider making the pills in a variety of fun, fresh, flavours to make the taste more accessible and palatable to the younger generation, he stroked his moustache as he pondered the question before solemnly replying, "I rather like the taste as it is. It might not be to everyone's taste, similar to Marmite." Then with no explanation, Li Shiu Kei lifted up his shirt, "Look!" and pointed to just above his sternum, "I have a third nipple!"