An unprecedented and bold act of terrorism took place on Tuesday's rush hour in Hong Kong's MTR station. While the focus of most Hong Kongers is to get home after a hard day's work, turn on the television and zone out for nine hours with a raw microwave dinner, those passing through a busy section of Hong Kong's labyrinthian underground system were startled by a group of lycra clad militants.
One eyewitness described the terrorists as 'elvish' looking. Several others confirmed that they weren't elves but 'pale imitations of Santa Claus' - the notorious fat man who breaks into homes on Christmas day and seduces the owner's pets.
Nathan Wong, a 32 year old accountant, was on his way home from work when the militants in their bright orange outfits abseiled into plain view and assembled themselves into attack formation. Still trembling from the encounter, Mr. Wong told us, "Immediately people around me started running and screaming, it was utter chaos." Those who were too petrified to escape were then subjected to several minutes of synchronized prancing. Nathan added, "I was shouting at people not to look, but it was too late, they just kept looking and looking..."
One of the victims, Tamil Davies, remembered, "One minute I was walking home, and then I was staring at some guy's lycra encased crotch gremlins jiggling up and down in my face." She claimed to have been 'hypnotically entranced' by the stratagem, "I'm lucky to still be alive." She showed us her fingers - they were crooked.
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