The Man Who Slept With A Dead Chicken

Harry Pinecone is a truly extraordinary individual. At the age of six, he single-handedly climbed Mount Everest without the aid of ropes. When he turned ten, he became CEO of a famous adult magazine. In between the ages of eleven and fifty-four, he didn't do much except watch television and eat pizza all day long. Harry celebrated his fifty-fifth birthday by buying a dead chicken from local farmer and close friend, Terry Blobs. He has since added 'sleeping with a dead chicken' to his impressive list of achievements.

Terry, the farmer, remembers, "Harry arrived at the farm early in the morning in his chauffeur driven limo. He had one of them paper party hats on his head and a kazoo in his mouth. He told me it was his birthday and he wanted to buy a dead chicken. At first I thought he just wanted something to cook, but then he said he wanted a dead chicken to sleep with. I was kind of shocked at first, but then I thought it's the man's birthday, I should give him what he wants. Fortunately, one of my hens had died from overnight ground frost, so I gave him that one."

We went to visit Harry at his five hundred acre mansion to ask him more, "Well," he giggles, "It was my birthday! Birthdays are about fun, right?"

We couldn't agree more! Birthdays are indeed about fun! We congratulated him for turning fifty-five, and asked if he had any plans for his next birthday, he shyly answered, "I'm thinking of spoiling myself with a dead squirrel!" How decadent! And why not indeed?