Sesame Street: Fan Fiction

Big Bird lay in bed with a slightly puzzled grin on his face, although muppets don't have access to the wide range of facial expressions as humans do, they're usually inclined to be either happy, angry, puzzled, or all of them simultaneously. Today, Big Bird was confused, but he didn't know exactly why. Maybe, it had something to do with the smeared faeces that formed the word 'happy' on his ceiling. He sat up in bed and shook his head as if attempting to shake ants from his ears. Suddenly, he became overwhelmed with a portentious realization and he spoke out loudly to himself, 'I live in Sesame Street, I should be happy!', he smiled then continued, 'Here is a place where I can be myself, do whatever I want, and have fun!' He bounced out of bed, went downstairs, and on the way out, grabbed a meat cleaver from his kitchen.

Half way down the street, Big Bird suddenly stopped, 'Whoops!' he chirped, 'silly ole me, I forgot to do something before I left the house!' He strode leisurely back to his house while whistling the Sesame Street theme tune, unlocked the front door and marched straight through the house to the living room where Snuffleupagus was snoring loudly on the sofa. The creature that resembled a mammoth that's had its DNA resequenced wrongly too many times stirred as the deformed giant yellow bird shook it to consciousness. Eventually, Snuffleupagus slowly drew open his eyes in time to see a meat cleaver come down in between them and embed itself into his skull. 'Oh you silly elephant you!' said Big Bird affectionately while stroking the mammoth's head which was still quivering in a semi-fit. He pinned Snuffleupagus's head with a large foot and retrieved the weapon.

He left his house again, this time he didn't bother to close the front door behind him because he knew that he wouldn't be coming back. 'I'm going to kill all muppets on this street but keep the humans alive so I can torture them!' he told himself, and then forced himself to cry but he couldn't help laughing intermittently as he did so.

At this point, the author finds it difficult to continue this story...